Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art by Haynes Simon

Author:Haynes, Simon [Haynes, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: novel, spacejock, sci-fi, humour, science fiction comedy, series, science fiction, comedy novel, scifi, humor, comedy
ISBN: 9781877034268
Publisher: Bowman Press
Published: 2013-05-10T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

Hal and Clunk let a stream of guests through, taking tickets and greeting one and all with polite conversation. Then came a brief lull, during which Hal asked Clunk to fetch him a coffee.

No sooner had the robot left than an old lady came slowly up the steps, digging around inside a large handbag. "I know I put that ticket in here," she mumbled to herself. "Where has it gone?"

Hal was about to help her when a car drew up, showering gravel. Hal frowned to himself as a couple of youths in leather jackets and white trousers hopped out. They sauntered up the steps, elbowing the old lady aside and knocking her bag out of her hands.

"You can pick that up again," said Hal, gesturing at the scattered contents.

"Says who?" demanded one of the youths, a skinny buck-toothed lad with downy cheeks and a floppy haircut.

Hal crossed his arms. "You want to spend the night in hospital, son?"

The youths tried to step around him, but Hal put his hands out, blocking the doorway.

"Get out of my way," said the second lad coldly. He was shorter than the first, with a gold chain and matching bracelets. He smelled strongly of aftershave, and his hair was slicked back.

"No ticket, no entry," said Hal firmly.

The youth pulled out a couple of creased tickets and tucked them into Hal's breast pocket. "Now move, you brainless turd."

"Make me," said Hal.

"You want to watch your lip, mate. I have friends in high places."

"Where, aboard an orbiting prison?"

There was a flash, and a shimmering blade appeared in the youth's hand. It wavered gently in the darkness, and the slender energy beam ran the spectrum from red to violet and back again. "Get out of the way. I'm not going to ask again."

Hal shrugged a length of chain off his shoulder and wound the loose end around his fist. He'd managed to hide this particular weapon from Clunk, convinced he'd need it sooner or later. "Me neither," he said, standing tall and swinging the chain gently from side to side.

The blade flashed, and several links of chain tinkled on the floor, leaving Hal with a shorter and slightly less impressive weapon. The youth raised the blade until it was just under his chin. "Say goodbye, you —"

"Is there a problem?" said a deep, booming voice from the doorway.

The blade vanished, and the youths backed away as Clunk emerged from the exhibition. He towered over them by a head, and with his battered face he looked more like a retired prize fighter than a sensitive new-age droid. "No sir," said one of the youths quickly. "No problem."

"They knocked the lady's handbag all over the steps," said Hal. "They get the death penalty for that, don't they?"

"Not if they pick it up."

The youths did so, gathering the scattered belongings and stuffing them back in the bag. The lady thanked them distractedly, then resumed her hunt for the missing ticket. Meanwhile, the youths headed for the entrance.

"I need to see your tickets," said Clunk.

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